This post is inspired by the fans of the Carolina Panthers and tailored just for you! Luke Keuchly is a great linebacker. In seven NFL seasons for the Carolina Panthers, he demonstrated his athleticism and team spirit on the field year in and year out. His accomplishments are many and above all, his outstanding sportsmanship has earned him great respect and admiration by teammates and adversaries alike.

While not everyone is a fan of football, anyone can be a fan of good decisions. Deciding to let go of something we cherish can be hard, and many times life makes the choice for us. Consciously choosing our next step takes courage!

At 28 years old, Luke Keuchly is retiring (watch his heart-wide-open retirement statement here). He was a player so dedicated that he literally did little else other than prepare for games. Football has been his entire focus of his adult life to this point. And while leaving the game that he loves so dearly was the last thing that he wanted to do, he knew in his heart that it was the best thing he could do. Sometimes the mark of a good decision is that we’d rather keep doing what we want, and yet we change course to do what we know is best.

How does this apply to each of us? We all face Moments of Choice every day. Big life decisions are not every day, but deciding what to do with the precious minute in front of us can be a major choice too.

A friend, Lauren, relayed this story to me. She boarded the crowded train, as she does every weekday morning on her commute to work. She sat down in one of a few open seats, put her headphones on, and closed her eyes. One stop later she felt someone take the seat next to her, the last open seat. They were seated shoulder to shoulder. The woman next to her was crying. Not just crying, sobbing. As they rode on she could feel the woman’s body shaking against her. She felt annoyed, her quiet moments of relaxation before work were now spoiled. She tried to pull away but there was no room for personal space on the over-crowded train. Trapped with nowhere to go, she dreaded the long ride ahead.

Lauren reached into her purse and pulled out her pack of tissues. Taking her headphones off, she held out a fresh tissue to her neighbor and said, “Are you ok?”

That moment, more than a year ago, was an unplanned meeting between two strangers. Today, they are great friends because Lauren pulled out a tissue. They meet routinely for dinner and enjoy each other’s company. Lauren could have just as easily passed up that moment of choice. She could have stood in the aisle and put the headphones on, leaving that woman alone. But she didn’t. She harnessed the power of the Moment.

We never know what the next Moment of Choice will reveal to us. Be on the lookout for it and be ready to make the most of it!

My friends and I enjoy a lot of the same music. We can listen to and love the same songs for the same reasons – we have this experience we share and understand, together.  Now, try to explain that to someone who doesn’t like the same music.  It’s almost impossible!  And yet, we can appreciate that this other person may have a similar experience with their own favorite music.

Music is a metaphor for connection.  A colleague told me a story from a recent trip that illustrates this. 

Her family was vacationing in Florida over the Holidays.  While the kids played, she slipped away to an outdoor pavilion for a little time alone.  Quietly enjoying herself, she hardly noticed the clouds that had gathered until the skies opened with a sudden burst of rain.  Vacation-goers scrambled to get under cover and her seating area quickly became crowded.  Looking around, she was surrounded by people who looked nothing like her, people she would not ordinarily associate with.  She noticed an elderly couple catching their breath and, as is typical of her character, she graciously got up and offered them her seat.  She was thanked by them, as well as another couple who observed this kind act.  Conversation followed, and the normal pleasantries were exchanged.  A television in the background played national news and caught the attention of one of her new-found friends.  The conversation suddenly turned to less-pleasant but ever-present topics we see on the news.

Our friend found herself aware that she had entered into a discussion with someone who didn’t just have a very different viewpoint from hers, but was deeply passionate about that viewpoint.  In fact at several moments, she could have easily become offended by the colorful comments she heard.  Instead, she chose to listen respectfully, seeking to understand.  When the timing was right, she began to ask some thoughtful questions.  Together, they discussed difficult issues, seeking to separate fact from fiction.  They discussed news outlets and how each “side” is always influenced by its own agendas.  It became the kind of conversation that leaves one thinking deeply about one’s own point of view from a bigger picture, and feeling as though you’ve been treated with respect because you chose to show respect.

As the conversation drew to a close our friend said, “My hope for 2019 is that we can all be more courageous.  It is my sincere wish that each of us can ask questions that help us understand other points of view.  If we only listen to what we want to hear, we will not know the other side of the story.”

She had built a bridge where one was needed.  She did so not by seeking to change them, but to come together with each understanding the other a little better.  While they may have been on different sheets of music, they found a connection between the notes, each enriched as a result.

She had enjoyed and learned from the encounter, so much so that she had to call me to relay this tale.  And now, I’m passing it on to you.  May we each be courageous enough to step out of our comfort zone and hear another other point of view.  May we get to know our neighbors a little better in this New Year of Opportunity. 

I have secretly always wanted to be a Broadway star and I grew up with a love of theater. I remember reading William Shakespeare’s “All the world’s a stage” and cherished the imagery his words brought to my mind. I took acting lessons and drama classes in high school. We worked on improvisation and character development. 

And there you have that key word that jumped out to me in the TRP training… CHARACTER.  I gravitated towards that concept in the TRP training and would spend a great deal of time focusing on this idea with my TRP classes. The words choice and character together, with all of my acting background, have brought me to realize that each and every day we choose the character we would like to portray.
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What do we want people to say about us when we leave a room? How do we want people to feel after an interaction with us? Do our actions help others become their best as they continue on with their day? A kind smile to someone who is having a rough day can make all the difference to that one person. A single, simple action can help reshape our character and who we are for the rest of the day.

When you wake up in the morning (or if you are not a morning person, before you go to bed the night before LOL), look at the character trait listing on page 67 of the TRP book and decide how you might want to approach the world that day. One of the only things we can truly control in life is ourselves, and how we choose to respond to a situation.

Thanks for reminding me of this, TRP staff, this training has truly changed the way I approach my life.