We recently interviewed a department director in preparation for a TRP training. We asked her to describe her management team. The following story about one of her long-time managers (we'll call her Sandy) inspired this TRP post.

Sandy has been with us for over twenty years. I just had a review with her and right at the beginning she said, "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

Let me explain. Her comment was a testament to the mutual respect we have for one another.
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When I joined the company fifteen years ago Sandy began reporting to me. I greatly misjudged her at first. I did not realize how much she knew. I thought she was too passive and "just along for the ride". She did not speak up when I thought she should assert her authority over her team members.

What I began to see was her quiet strength. She is not afraid of a confrontation, quite the opposite! More than anyone I've ever worked with, she knows just when to step in, and when it is best to let others work it out. She's a true servant leader and she has been an outstanding manager.

Have you ever misjudged someone else's strength, and perhaps perceived it as a flaw? Taking the time to see what's under the surface of our colleagues is one of the most rewarding investments we can make. The strengths of our team members are often hidden in plain sight. Taking a genuine interest in someone else means going beyond what we might find interesting about them. It's so much deeper than that. 

One of Dale Carnegie's rules from over 80 years ago in How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as relevant today:

"Regardless of the physical or financial assets an organization may have, it's the people who make it successful. They are an organization's key asset, and getting to know them should be as high a priority as learning the technical aspects of one's job. The key is to be genuine. Don't get a reputation for only being interested when you want something, getting to know others should always be mutually beneficial."

At TRP Enterprises we're continually developing new ways to help people work together. The Circles of Collaboration is a new tool for teams and organizations to see the positive qualities that each bring to any project, and use those positive qualities for deep collaboration and truly meaningful work. To learn more, come join us this summer for one of our Managing Change workshops.  

Perhaps one of the most rewarding things that I do as a facilitator, is prepare other trainers to deliver the Totally Responsible Person training programs. Just last month I conducted a train the trainer program for a client in California, and next month my team will do it again from our home offices in Winston-Salem, NC. We run train the trainer programs several times a year and I cannot sleep in the days leading up to it - I have so much energy!

For me, as a lifelong practitioner of TRP, my practice is to "walk the talk," and demonstrate what being a Totally Responsible Person is all about. I do this in my daily routine both at work and at home. While I'm far from perfect, the effort to take personal responsibility for ALL my actions, words, and thoughts is such a good challenge. I find that both my "misses" and my successes on this journey give me great stories that I often weave into my delivery of TRP programs.

Likewise, the incredible people who come to our train the trainer program to get certified to teach TRP have great stories. Helping them discover the power in those stories is like mining for gold. It's usually just under the surface and with a little effort, we uncover something of value that they can pass along in ways that have meaning and impact for others.

Stories become teaching tools
For example, a recently certified trainer from one of our programs shared a powerful story from his first career as a young supervisor. Rather than coach a struggling employee, he protected her. He didn't want to hurt her feelings by pointing out her performance issues. He ended up protecting her to the point of a crisis and ultimately needing to terminate her. It pains him to this day that he could have helped her, but he didn't. He learned from that lesson and became a great manager, never making that same mistake again. After going through the train the trainer program, he will use that story as a powerful, cautionary tale, when he trains other young supervisors in TRP. His story is now serving a purpose and helping others.

The stories that TRP trainers tell are windows into their potential. The stories are about both their mistakes and their successes. TRP training gives them a platform for those stories to come to life in ways that others can learn from.

What's your story?
I'm gearing up for our March 12 - 14 TRP train the trainer program in Winston-Salem and cannot wait to help a new group of trainers shape their stories into the powerful teaching tools they will be. 

"Yet another promising employee has been let go. He just couldn't seem to make it to work on time. Management gave him every opportunity to succeed and he blew it. On top of that, we had an employee leave last week after only having been here six months. It seems she thought there was a greener pasture for her somewhere else.

So here we go again. Same amount of work and two less people to share the load. What is it we're doing wrong?"

Sound familiar? That is what we call adversity. The good news is, we all face adversity. It's not the killer of dreams. It's the beckoning call to wake up from the wishful thinking that believes life should be easy. Adversity begs us to discover our strengths and unleash them in exemplary ways. Adversity is a teacher.

We recently consulted with an agency that delivers affordable housing solutions to those in need. This agency is at the leading edge of adversity. Many of their clients are living in harsh realities where every day is a struggle. The agency must manage the adversity that their clients bring in to their offices every day... and not get too caught up in it themselves. The beauty of it is, they are learning to see such adversity as a great teacher.

The new training tools we have developed at TRP are here to help each of us look at adversity from a different point of view. The key ingredient to discovering that point of view?

Respect!

Respect the adversity that others face. And yet, know it is their struggle and not ours. Respect their ability to persevere and to be triumphant. Offer resources and help where appropriate, allowing respect to be the guide.

When it comes to the adversity that each of us face, respect it. It's not the adversity itself, it's the opportunity that it is providing us with. There are powerful aspects of ourselves that we have yet to discover. As Michelangelo said, "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." Be the sculptor and with chisel in hand, discover that power within.